Control

Well this is perfect timing because it's apparently Liptember which promotes and fundraises for women's mental health and encourages everyone to listen, share and learn (click here to learn more) and today's blog post is all about mental health. Specifically anxiety. 

For a few days my anxiety had been constant. All day, every day, 24/7. I experience anxiety in the form of appetite issues, shaking and if not managed properly can lead to breakdowns. And goodness knows why but for a few days no matter what strategy I used... It. Did. Not. Go. Away. I was so frustrated because I was doing all these things to manage it but nothing worked - it's ironic and counterproductive that it became comedic but attempting to use these strategies made the anxiety worse. 

I had a really interesting conversation with my psychologist the other day and it really changed the way I approach my coping strategies so I'm not as frustrated... Anxiety is something that doesn't go away. It's like a fly that doesn't shoo no matter how many times you wave your arms around. Everyone experiences it but at varying degrees and some are able to manage it better than others. 

This idea is so simple and for some reason it was like magic. My state of constant anxiety went away and since then I've genuinely been happy - I even had a little dance party and I haven't felt this happy in so long. It's so interesting how a simple thought or mindset can change your whole outlook on everything. I've also been watching a lot of Damon Dominique who is hilarious - 100/10 recommend and his views on life have just made me so much more appreciative of what the world has to offer and makes me inspired to actually experience and immerse myself in everything there is too see and do.

Going back to the main topic. I am very happy and fortunate that (for now) my anxiety has calmed down and in conjunction with my new outlooks on life, there are numerous strategies that I use - separately or at the same time and they all work to a certain extent given the circumstance... so I thought I'd share them because they've really helped me so it might help you!

Meditation or Deep Breathing

I didn't know what to call this because there's technically a *few* that I use at the same time but whatever. If I'm in a situation where I physically cannot use the my most effective strategies ie. in class, I find that breathing in for 4, holding for 4 and then exhaling for as long as possible helps as I envision breathing in light and exhaling negative emotions. I particularly like doing this in conjunction with a guided meditation (I use Sanvello) but obviously that isn't possible in all situations. This strategy also shifts my thoughts to something else and takes my mind off of the anxiety. 

As I said previously, my anxiety symptom includes shaking and putting on/covering yourself with something warm at least for me, minimises or stops the shaking. I also learnt the butterfly hug method from It's Okay to Not Be Okay (100/10 drama - love the characters and their development) and I tried it once when my anxiety was really bad and it reduced it quite a bit (click here to see how it works). 

Externalisation

It's basically putting all your thoughts into the real world so that they don't spin around in endless circles in your mind. I wrote a post about journalling yearssss ago and I took it up again which has helped but I've changed the way I journal. It's a bit excessive but in the morning I write in a journal my friend gave me: what I'm grateful for, what would make today great and some self affirmations. Then I do Jenn Im's morning pages where in the morning I just write whatever the heck is in my mind. During this time, it's essentially a stream of consciousness where I write my worries and it forces me to organise my thoughts, feelings and question: what am I feeling? and why am I feeling this way? And because I do this in the morning, I'm able to live the rest of my day basically stress/worry free which is an amazing feeling. At night, I go back to the journal my friend gave me and wrote what made today great, and what could've made it better. I still do my regular journalling but since starting morning pages, I find that my entries are so much more lively and positive, filled with joyous moments of my day as oppossed to my emotions and worries. 

Acknowledgement

"So easy", "I already do it why are there specific strategies for this" are your possible reactions to me saying that one of the most effective strategies to manage anxiety for me is to acknowledge my emotions. Crazy right?! I had a conversation last night with one of my best friends about how especially in today's world where we value productivity and hustling, that we never really allow or give us time to really acknowledge and/or process our emotions. And because of my failure of doing this, I will admit that it has caused some issues with some friendships I had where I was unable to express/articulate my feelings and it has spiraled into a tornado. 

As I discussed previously, morning pages or any form of journalling is highly effective at guiding you to process your emotions and why you're feeling that way. But then what? During high anxiety moments I employ the 'name and tame' strategy where I name the emotion, why I'm feeling that way and depending on the circumstance and the level of my anxiety, I either face it head on and confront it, or I avoid it, find distractions and I'll solve it at a later time when my anxiety isn't clouding my brain. The most important and long-term strategy which I only learnt in my last session but has helped my outlook on life is the 'catch the thought' strategy. This is where you acknowledge the thought, remind yourself that it's just a thought and it does not define you. In doing this, you ultimately separate yourself from the thought and it doesn't consume your entire being. I really like this one because it is the strategy that made me truly feel like I could control my anxiety. 

Remember to look out for yourselves and each other. Do not hesitate to reach out to your family, friends and/or professionals/helplines. If you find yourself in a high anxiety situation, I hope one or more of these strategies help you minimise it but keep in mind that your anxiety or mental health issues don't define you!

**disclaimer: I am not a professional (I highly recommend you speak to one or a helpline if you are in not a mentally good place/need support), I am not sharing this to get attention (if you think that... that's kinda sad and potentially toxic/damaging to those around you who might be experiencing mental health problems), I am just sharing my experience and maybe help someone somewhere :)