Magic Mirror

'Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?'

Why, it is Snow White, with 'skin white as snow', so innocent and pure.

We aren't Snow White. No matter how pale we are, our skin is tainted by our past - the good, the bad and the dirty: our mistakes, regrets and shame, as well as our smiles, laughs and joy. I write this as I'm nearing the end of my high school journey, and my schooling journey as a whole (although I'm going to uni but that's different) and my skin is most definitely tainted. I can particularly remember clearly the times where I have hurt people with my words and actions, despite some of them in my head being in the best interest of the other person. But that doesn't matter as the hurt was still caused. 

Once the knife has penetrated the skin, it turns red and there's no turning back. I would be a fool not to look at myself in the mirror and see these things. However, once the deed is done there is nothing you can do to reverse it. Even if the knife has been pulled out, the blood has been cleaned and the flesh heals, the scar on their skin serves as a forever reminder of what you did, and your skin is tainted red with their blood. 

I am most definitely not proud of the knives that I have thrown. My earliest memory was when I got annoyed at this girl during sport who was trying really hard but in my eyes wasn't, and out of frustration told her to try harder. Looking back, I can't believe I said those hurtful words and am very ashamed of myself, still carrying the guilt all these years later. 

On that day that I learnt the power of words in the way that they're beautiful yet equally destructive and can have a lasting impact and have also first-handedly experienced it myself... karma you could say. It is also the day that I learnt to take a good look at my reflection in the mirror - to acknowledge my mistake and learn from it to grow. 

It is one thing to throw a knife, leave it, and keep throwing the same ones. However, it is also another thing to pull it out, clean the wound and dispose of those knives. It is during those times we are the best version of ourselves, when we look at ourselves in the mirror, acknowledge our toxic traits and/or mistakes and move forward with those lessons in our backpack. That is not to say that we won't make more and/or larger mistakes on our journey (I am most definitely not excluded from this) as we meet more people and have more experiences but as I said in another post: nothing exists except the present. 

We cannot change the past and we cannot perfectly mould the future. Both are impossible. What we can do is choose Joy in the present, choose Joy in the way that we learn from our mistakes, avoid throwing those same knives so that when the next moment comes, we are better people than we were before and choose Joy for ourselves and others.

The next time you look at yourself in the mirror - look at the red on your skin, the wounds that your words and actions have pierced onto others' skin. But also look at all the yellow and pink that colour your body - the joy and the love that you have brought to others, the way in which you have stitched their wounds.

Written on: 26/10/20 (also happy death anniversary to one of the grand-parentals)